Tribute to Azafar

Azfar doesn't tackle forwards. He stares them down until they give the ball to him.

Joey may have ate the frogs legs, made the swiss roll and munches gladbach, but Azfar had him from breakfast.

When Azfar makes a tackle god winces.

A comet didnt wipe out dinosuars, it was Azfar arriving on Earth.
If two Azfars tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a football when Azfar is on the pitch.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Azafar once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned football.

Azfar does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

Azfar actually does waste people - he doesn't fuck about.

Apple pays Azfar 99p every time he listens to a song.

Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Azfar kicks you your relatives will feel it.

There is no ctrl button on Azfar's keyboard. Azfar is always in control. 

Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Azfar.

Azfar doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Azfar is Azfar.

Azfar can sneeze with his eyes open. 
They once made a Azfar toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anyone.

Azfar was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost

Azfar sleeps on a bed of nails. FACT 

Azfar can kill two stones with one bird. 

Azfar can dive to the bottom of the ocean without an oxygen tank.

He once destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 

When Azfar breaks his arm or leg he saws it off and it grows back straight away.

Azfar is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Azfar does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

When he jumps in the ocean, he doesnt get wet, the sea gets Azafar-ed.

Azfar sees dead people, then kills them again.

Azfar was the first MAN on the Moon.

Azfar doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Azfar does not sleep. He waits.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Azfar.

There wasn't 300 Spartans, there was just 1 Azfar.

Can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Azfar doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Azfar dies two years ago but Death is too scared to tell him.

Once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!".

RedBull is Azfar's urine in a can.

When Azfar does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

When Azfar walks through a metal detector at the airport and it beeps,he frisks the security guard.

Azfar does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Jedis and Sith use the Force. Azfar IS the Force. 

He invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother.

Azfar can draw a straight line with a compass.

Azfar makes onions cry.

Azfar is the reason why Wally is hiding in all of his books.

As soon as he was born he grabbed the midwife, the doctors and nurses by their ankles and slapped their arses then went on a 22 pint drinking spree.

"Azfar isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Azfar."

When Azfar pays for a meal in New York,the waiter tips him

If you have a flim, and Azfar has a flim. Azfar has more money than you.

When Azfar walks in the pub in "shameless",Paddy Maguire walks out (out the back door).

Azfar can beat rock with scissors.

Azfar is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. 

Azfar crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. 

He has looked into the abyss, laughed, then had some dinner.

Azfar uses a night light. Not because Azfar is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Azfar.

The Bible was originally titled "Azfar and Friends"

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Azfar can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Azfar makes hurricanes when he blinks.

Azfar leaves messages before the beep.

Azfar doesn't wear condoms, because there's no such thing as protection from Azfar. 

Azfar once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Azfar once had a staring contest with a brick wall, and won.

Azfar did in fact, build Rome in a day. 

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Azfar is on.

Azfar's calendar jumps from March 31st to April 2nd....because nobody fools Azfar" 

Azfar owns a box of white dog poo.