Farewell Toplessness

Dear Tito and David,

I blame you guys for my REALISATION that I have a non-beer belly and that I have an increasing bust-size. I still eat loads of junk, but now, I whine a lot before I do.

Tonight, I was determined to go for a run, but the rain had to come and stop me from getting leaner and more good-looking. Tito and David, your words have hurt me deeply. I don't know if I can ever play topless in the hardcourt anymore. I will miss the times when our glistening bodies rubbed against each other, celebrating and embracing our beautiful bodies for how they were made to be like - with bellies.

With sadness,
Most-good-looking-man-with-a-belly.